Dancing With the Stars 22, week 6: Famous Dances

HeLLO ballroom dancers!

I think I have made a huge decision about my future and career! That is all. I’ll let you know how it works out.

Let’s get right to it – last night’s episode of Dancing With the Stars. I hear this episode was great, which I hope is true because last time they did this theme it was dumb and there’s a Bar Rescue marathon I’m interrupting to watch this!

I was ABOUT that opening number! LOOOOOOOOVED…until Val ran out in his booty shorts. EW.

Kim & Sasha – so nice Kim didn’t blame Keo for last week. I’m really getting Derek vibes from Sasha; he is really impressing me. Tom is a riot in the control room, and Kim looks BEAUTIFUL! She could do with a little more pendulum swing and be just a hair more forward-weighted, and her energy isn’t as explosive as usual, but good GOD, I love e-va-ry-thang about Kim and Sasha. I watched the udges’ critiques for this and I couldn’t stop laughing at Bruno. “You can’t stop the beeeeaaaatttt and I can’t stop having funnnn!” And then he calls Carrie Maks?! I LOVE THIS!

Von & Witney – ooh, I’m having deja vu watching the judges’ Footloose and cracking up at Tom with his 4 paddle. Ooh, but her ring is stunning! I love rose gold. But I digress. AAH, Shannon! *heart eyes* Ooh, Von is INTO this – that is a game face if I’ve ever seen one. But he is falling off time more than once, and he seems to not be very comfy moving BIG. But this was easily his best dance. 8,8,8 – I think that’s good.

Did they show John DePalma in the All Access? I know he was there last night because I follow him on Instagram. Also, I’m really looking forward to Mark as Austin Powers and Wanya because I’m, I guess what you could consider an older millennial, so…*NSYNC is my life.

Who are all these new people in this episode?!

Jodie & Keo – I can’t believe they gave HER this dance instead of, like…Paige. I’m not saying Jodie isn’t capable, but Paige is the closest one to having the strength that P!nk does, and that makes things like this dangerous. Nice makeup job. WHY AM I TEARING UP? I just got lash extensions yesterday, I can’t get my eyes wet! 9,8,8 – I guess. I think it could have gotten one more 9.

Oh, last night was Cranky’s birthday. Happy 572nd, Lenny!

Paige & Mark – oh, this is going to be hilarious. Paige is dancing this beautifully, but my eyes keep drifting back to Mark because he is having so much fun. I don’t even know what to say about this dance. I heard Len say “there was nothing about this dance that I didn’t like.” QUITE. 9,10,9 – well deserved.

Nyle & Peta – this song has been done to death. This actually has been my favorite choreography I’ve seen to this song (Rick Fox, Shawn Johnson, Helio Castroneves). Great character on Nyle’s part – I really thought I was watching The Mask. 8,8,9? A tad underscored. But I hear he got lit up.

Ginger & Val – OK, I know I should be watching Ginger, but Shannon is making me think sinful things. OK OK, Gingy. You know what it is about her? Her facial expressions remind me of Fran Drescher’s when she would dance on The Nanny. She danced this nicely, but not NASTY. She didn’t fall off time or anything like that, and she was definitely in sync with all the pros, but somehow she looked like she was dancing slower than the boys, which is weird because she hit the accents same as they all did, even if not as hard. 8,8,8 – appropriate. Val the cheerleader! I like.

OH! Alan and Brittany did Tony and Lacey’s trick from MMMBop. Tony wanted me to do that in my showcase routine, but my partner wasn’t as…powerfully built as Tony, so we had to scratch it.

Doug & Karina – I already know he went home, but I’m not sad about it because it’s better that than to see such a great human being getting raked over the coals every time. He’s having fun and Karina looks beautiful. The snake thing was actually REALLY nice. I thought he did a really good job. He stayed on time and he had fun…and he’s so handsome *blushes* Karina has just shown over and over this season how classy she is. I just love her more all the time.

Wanya & Lindsay – AHHHH I’ve been looking forward to this one all week! Again, *NSYNC is my life. OHHHH it’s Joey and Lance! I want the Fat-One to crash the dance floor. Aww, Wanya was great with Witney and I love how his mindset is competitive, but not trying to tear anyone else down. Shannon is super hot doing *NSYNC. WHO THE HELL IS SINGING THIS?! Wow, Wanya is really a smooth mover. YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! Lance looks great! Where’s JC and Chris?! 10,9,10, I like it but Len is such a GD buzzkill. The Fat-One is too funny for my life. But why wasn’t that the last number?!

Antonio & Sharna – I’m not liking this package. Antonio is now made the victim when he continuously shows up late to rehearsal and only gives her 10 hours a week to dance – that doesn’t tell ME, at least, that he wants to win. He could use a little more tightness in his inner thighs. This dance was easily his best because this time, he’s actually TRYING! 9,9,9? That’s fair. Maybe this is the kick in the pants he needed.

So from now on, no matter what happens, pretty much every elimination is going to be a “shocking” one. I don’t know who I think should go next, or even who I want to go next – I just want the machinations to stop.

What do you think?!

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