Dancing With the Stars 22, week 5: The Switch-Up

Happy Tuesday, ballroom dancers!

Let’s talk about last night’s show. I may watch the judges’ critiques this time – I wasn’t looking for any DWTS stuff last night and my Instagram basically exploded with people saying Maks was, um…less than kind. I met Maks a few times and he was actually really cool, so I want to think he wasn’t that bad…I REALLY want to think that.

It seems I’m in the minority, but I have always liked the Switch-Up. I’m remiss to call it “America’s Switch-Up” because I’ve heard about the Switch-Up couples not being the actual ones that were voted for. But I digress.

Dancing With the Stars season 22, week 5: The Switch-Up

Dancing With the Stars season 22, week 5: The Switch-Up

The opening number, I really liked. (Pitbull music is my guilty pleasure.) Mandy Moore is pretty good with these. I wonder what the process is for creating the opening numbers.

Maks’ comment about looking for people replicating their dancing with a new partner doesn’t make much sense. It should by NO means be the same.

Witney & Wanya – Wit’s dress is beautiful. He doesn’t look as solid and strong as he usually does in his hold, but he looks still very smooth, if not as confident. OK, all I’ve seen is Len’s critique and I’m already furious. He and Maks both are full of crap and what kind of foolishness is it when Bruno and Carrie Ann are the ones that make sense?! Wanya was so gracious. Underscored.

Kim & Keo – oh no…I already heard about this one πŸ˜₯ GOD, I love her excitement, she is adorable with ANYONE ad even her little son thinks it’s funny. He’s gotten a bad rap, but I’m glad we’re seeing more of him this season because I think Keo really is a good egg and he definitely really tried with Kim. I don’t know why I’m tearing up, but that was such a beautiful and sweet dance! But I already know it got ripped. Len always takes the VWaltz so seriously. “IT’S THREE HUNDRED YEARS OLD!” I think he invented it himself. The 8s are warranted, the 6s no. How DARE Maks bring up his victory from FOUR seasons ago? Especially seeing as how he barely gave Meryl any content regardless. BTW, their height difference was nine inches versus Keo and Kim’s THIRTEEN.

Doug & Peta – quite looking forward to this one, but I don’t know how Peta could think Maks would be a tough judge to HER. Nice job on the costumes. Looks like he’s leading more on this dance than he has before, and his intensity is perfect. Good on her for going the simple route to show him off to the best of his ability. Very clean – he missed no steps – and full of content. Bruno’s right, he didn’t enjoy it – but he did very well. Maks was way kinder to him than the previous two. Wonder why -_- I think the scores were fair, though.

OMG, this secrets segment was HILARIOUS. But why would they ask who’s going to win this season? That was just asking for trouble.

Jenna and Artem’s dance was HOT, and the performance of the song was gorgeous, but I definitely saw double-stick tape poke out of her dress. Oops. Quite frankly, I’ve never liked Jenna as much as I did in that dance.

Ginger & Mark – oh man, Ginger’s husband is a RIOT. OOOH, a REAL salsa song! OK, this choreography is SICK! Also? Mark’s faces when he dances are exactly like his dad’s and it’s making me laugh a little bit. WOOOOO!!! She moved a bit small at times, and the fact that the routine was packed from start to finish shows that she may not be on par with a Wanya or a Paige, but that was awesome! MAN, that just made me want to hit the salsa club.Go Mark! Good on him for giving her actual straight DANCE from start to finish! “You haven’t done a fast dance yet?” Dude, she did jive three weeks ago. Okay, I am literally LOLing at Ginger’s husband’s remarks. WHOOOAAA, what happened here? The scores don’t match the critiques AT ALL, but Val was really cool to Mark and that was great to see. Hopefully he takes a page out of Mark’s book from now on.

Antonio & Karina – every time I see her, I get sad all over again that she wasn’t at the Dance Legends workshop. Word on the street is that Antonio’s level of commitment is very iffy and good thing that they showed it. Huge waste of the time of a doll like Sharna – although I’ve heard that Sharna’s been fining him whenever he’s late, same as Witney. I LOVE her hair and makeup and costume for this dance – looks very inspired by JLo in her Vegas show. Yeah, I think I said this before, but he is worried about the accents and not filling up the music in between. I ADORED THIS CHOREOGRAPHY. Because Karina is a cha cha goddess. Anyway, I actually agreed for the most part with Maks and Len – until Maks said it didn’t have cha cha content. Regardless, it’s clear Antonio doesn’t care about this competition and wasted potential REALLY annoys me, especially when you have someone like Karina at your disposal. Aww, poor Karina – she’s looking at Sharna like she’s sorry, but quite frankly, how Antonio is kind of tanking is not on either one of them. I hate those scores for my Karina, but she handled it with such grace. I love her.

Paige & Sasha – another one I was excited for would do well together. AW, he got her flowers! I hope they keep him on as pro permanently. Paige, honey…”I don’t trust my partners no matter who it is” isn’t the way to get anywhere, especially in dance. She was gorgeous. She danced with strength in a very unique way from most women. She was incredibly fluid and was completely in the moment. They nailed the partnership. Ok once again, Maks is REACHING because he says there was ONE rumba step? The syllabus figures I saw? Fan, cucarachas, fencing, opening out to left and right. In case Maks forgot, an open competitive routine never has more than four or five. Len is full of crap “You’ve got to sell it to me more, I want to see it coming out more” GUESS WHAT, Methuselah – everyone does not show love the same way. THANK YOU, Erin, for calling them out! Maks sucks for giving that a 7 and either way, it should have gotten 9s.

Von & Lindsay – a legitimate question – “Can we laugh and have fun?” HA! Random – Lindsay is way funnier than I think she’ll be. OK, already cracking up at him strumming his own leg. Sugar push, chicken walks, sailor shuffle, toe heel swivels, and the walks in promenade position. He fell off time a couple of times, but how did Lindsay make me love this guy all of a sudden?! He looked like he was loving everything about it! Carrie Ann was right on the money – very clever how she played to his strengths and strategic. Maybe “They” are changing the narrative here – suddenly the hammer is getting dropped on Antonio and Von is getting rave reviews. Legs-agna”?! I’M DEAD! I think underscored by a point.

Nyle & Sharna – QUEEN TYRA! God, I love that woman! His shoulders are a little weird at times, but I’ll be all right. This was beautiful choreography and acted gorgeously, but it’s great to see the Sharna we love again. Looks like I’m the only one on the internet that didn’t cry at this dance – it just made me smile. I’m glad he got PLEASANT critiques, but I don’t get why no one commented on his posture. It wasn’t the most awful thing, but it was definitely noticeable. Why does Len ALWAYS say “from Len, the ten”? Okay, wait, what the hell happened here?! How did these guys forget the scores they wrote TWO seconds before?

Jodie & Val – this, apparently, was the partnership everyone expected when she was announced as a cast member. Val is super tough, but I liked it – he really does want to get the best out of you. He used to get sweaty though, ewww. They actually danced really well together, she was working the HECK out of that skirt, and this easily is the best choreography I’ve seen from Val in years. Um, why would Maks compare her to Sabrina? That was incredibly random. Anyway, clean, full of attack, and way more confident than we’ve seen her all season. Easily her best dance.

No elimination, but next week’s is probably going to be really depressing.

Final thoughts:
Β· I wish, as always, that some of the Switch-Ups were less predictable – like, of course Peta and Sharna would switch and Witney and Lindsay would switch, the same way Mark and Derek and then Maks and Val always switched.
Β· The judges were horrible tonight – they’re calling out on the worst week possible for “lack of content”, not on execution – what are they really judging here? And that Nyle scoring snafu looked sketchy. How do TWO judges pick up the wrong paddle five seconds after they write their score down?
Β· I love Maks outside of the DWTS ballroom, and even in the ballroom, he’s been a pretty decent judge on his guest stints, but to be quite honest? I thought this was an audition for a permanent spot on the judging panel and this is not a side of him I like. He was not impartial, or “just”, as he said, and he gave the same critiques that he hated getting for all those years. It’s a shame because Maks, in reality, is really funny, a blast to be around, and actually a really cool guy.

What did you think? I’m worried for Doug next week, and actually Kim too.

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