DWTS 20, Week 6: Spring Break

Hello there, hoofers! (Odd word for “dancers”, huh? Just trying to change it up.)

I usually do my “intensive” work out Monday nights, but today the studio is closed for renovations so I’ve nothing to do with myself other than watch this. I waited an hour and a half though, so I could skip the judges’ comments. And the commercials.

Spring Break week. That’s a lame idea. Who even came up with that? Even more, who told them it was a good idea? But such is television. And aren’t most of these summer songs? Fail.

Palm trees on set. Even though I’m unsurprised, woooooowwwww.

Patti & Artem – this woman is too fabulous for my life. Random, but what is Milo Ventimiglia doing in the audience? SHE LOST HER SHOE, haaa. Either way, this was easily her best performance yet. High energy and she hit every step. AND she did it all wearing one shoe. That’s probably why she got out of her head and just gave it up.

Nastia & Derek – the 10 paddles were Mickey heads? See, THAT’S an awesome detail. Wow, Derek is really riding her hard. One of my coworkers has made me hate Calvin Harris. I’m liking her dress, but the hairstyle is slightly ridiculous. Nastia in this dance is not really in the moment and maybe just a tad stiff and has a really bad case of stankface right now. You know, when someone tries really hard to look like they’re saying “RAR”?

Willow & Mark – how did they give “Tequila” to the one person in the cast that has probably never had it in their life? Her being told she has extra ribs is kind of hilarious. This is a strange arrangement of this song (I think originally it’s more of a quickstep), but I don’t mind. Her hip action looks kind of shallow because she’s not fully straightening her knees, but she sold it with her face. Kind of the same way Fran did on The Nanny every time she danced. But I liked that it was really age-appropriate. I’m really liking Mark this season too.

Side note: is it me, or given this whole overblown production thing and adding non-ballroom styles to this show just taking away from the freestyle? Just something I’ve thought about.

Robert & Kym – caught it by accident in the package and WOW, he was robbed last week. Falling off time in the beginning isn’t enough to warrant ONE 6, let alone four. See, THIS is a great partnership. He was just a hair ahead of the beat in the beginning. His legs are pretty stiff, but I think he “gets it”, and I LOVE this couple.

Noah & Sharna – I saw their rehearsal footage and am again amazed by Sharna, especially seeing her figuring out how to do figures in the opposite; Noah is going to be leading with his right. I couldn’t even figure it out. He had way better hips in rehearsal. How are they so square now? Pains me to say it was not a good dance from Noah, but good on him for calling out the package. They did look gorgeous though, and the dance wasn’t blatantly erotic, but you did feel the heat there.

Rumer & Val – obviously, they never saw the making of the Bootylicious video, because the word’s definition was explained ad nauseam. OH MY GOD, THEY’RE TEACHING VAL TO TWERK. She does sexy/edgy yet again. She’s coming off very one-dimensional. I don’t know anything about jazz, but this routine somehow didn’t seem very well choreographed to me. Rumer looked super hot, though.

Chris & Witney – at this point I want him to be eliminated justΒ  because he looks like he hates wat he’s doing. Love love love Witney’s dress, but did they just add another skirt to Rumer’s week 1 dress? Anyway, this may have been Chris’ best dance. He stayed with it the whole time and you could tell he was trying. Could have used a little more bend in his knees. Strange though, that whole stationary bit that felt like it was most of the routine.

Riker & Allison – he got a 38?! Awesome. I’m afraid for him because her samba routine isn’t great. And wow, that’s…wussy of them to change the song. Aside from the fact that Work It was the one I was most looking forward to, remember the days you danced to what you were given? WOW. His samba technique is way better than hers. She’s jumping into every step. He could use a little more tightness in his thighs though. His batucadas were awesome, but I was cringing watching her the whole time. It hurt.

Team YOLO: WHY would Nastia not have picked Riker first?! OHHH I’m going to guess Derek opted to focus on the pro lineup. I ended up loving this!!! I was fully prepared for a train wreck, but that really played to everyone’s strengths and was a blasty-blast.

Team Trouble: I call storyboarding if they beat YOLO because I don’t remember off the top of my head any team dance ever getting a perfect score. Right off, they’re not as in sync as Team YOLO was. Having everyone and their different personalities was probably the best thing they could have done. And while it was a lot of fun, I think Riker’s solo is what saved it. Oh, a tie. I guess that makes sense.

What did you think? The show somehow felt super messy to me. I know I sounded like grumpy Len, but I felt like this was not an especially fantastic night for anyone. Except maybe Chris, who hopefully goes next.

OOH, must vote. That goes for you too!

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